Since Monday evening i have been crying, solid.
work was hell yesterday and i have to go back in less than half an hour.
my horrible decision on Monday that did in fact turn out to be the worst decision of my life has yet to be resolved and is main reason for said crying.
my room is disgusting and i choke on clutter that threatens to envelope me. I want to sit at at home, i want to clean my room and i want to make myself a real meal in my kitchen. is this so much to ask? apparently because i cant remember the last time i did any of these things. i have too many fucking social obligations. there are constantly people contacting me via text message, calling, emailing and notes on various web sites. between work, staying up until 3 am consoling friends and driving all over the city i feel like i have seen Korey for 5 minuets in the past 3 months, less than anyone else i know...and that is really fucking things up for me. i feel like i haven't done a single thing for myself. on top of which i have a wedding to shoot on December first, lets hope i can help my customers this time. i suppose i have to learn how to tell people no, i just... dont know.
fuck this life.
2 comments:
Dearest, I hope I am not one who you feel obligated to. I cannot wait to see you tonight (in about an hour). I hope that tonight will ease some of your pain. As for your previous post, you can live with me if you want. I would be all too willing to have you as a roommate. $150 a month how about?
mud is the world.
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