just found out that phil is going to germany in less than like a month and he didnt tell me. why wouldnt he tell me? i felt like shit asking in front of friends, but why wouldnt he tell me? i dont understand. i feel like something isnt right but at the same time i feel like an asshole for being pissed at him about it, but at the same time why would he not tell me? we live in the same house, he drives my car, we have a cat....why wouldnt he tell me? i feel so un important. after i found out he asked me if i would be alright here by myself in a way that felt more than condescending. it hurts so much i just dont understand why he would do this without informing me. he is mad at me for bringing up the fact that he is leaving the country and in turn leaving me alone in our house that is owned by his family and they are always about all by myself. jesus christ im scared just thinking about, it. its hard to type when your crying. its hard to say things like this when he's laying in bed next to me....i want to leave but i dont want to leave him i want to leave but i dont know where to go.