happy fucking thanksgiving

so, i just woke up a little less than an hour ago, haven't had coffee, haven't showered yet, but there is already familial drama. Mateo called about 10 mins ago to say that Dana (his girlfriend) has gone missing. Apparently she left last night and has not returned since, its already noon and no one has a clue where she is.
I have 2 pies and a big dish of macaroni to prepare in the next 2 hours and this bitch is... running off to create her own drama.
I figure as soon as i shower and start cooking i can slam back a corona and be wasted for the rest of the day.

update: she is found.

try to remember the day.

waking up early and dragging my ass to work everyday makes me feel like so much less of a person. For those of you who have seen The Producers(2005), please recall the opening of "i wanna be a producer" the part in which Leo Bloom, The character played by Mathew Broderick goes to work; while surrounded by co-workers ensues a chorus of men singing about unhappiness and their shitty jobs.

Anyway, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. apparently another year has past and the fucking holiday season is here once -a-fucking-gain. yippee. Tomorrow's family gathering should prove to be dysfunctional and thoroughly unenjoyable to say the least.

Ol' Crack Toe

so i just watched The Darjeeling Limited for the third time in theaters, i hope i can hold out for it to come out on dvd before the hunger strikes again. It is by far the best movie i have ever seen, in my opinion.

The 18th was little Rachel's 19th birthday, that was fun, i picked her up from work, after which we got pretty baked, laughed at a stupid movie and then woke up at noon the next day, much needed escape, though i wish it was something more extreme, we will see about celebrating further at a later date.
today was my mom's birthday and i spent a whole fuckton of money today. i woke up around 10am from my buzzing phone, i took her out to breakfast and payed the bill, after which we went shopping until around 3pm and bought all kinds of cool stuff. then i got the bright idea that we should go to a matinee and since the only movie out worth watching right now is The Darjeeling Limited and since i really would'nt mind seeing it again we went to that, i payed. it was beautiful, she cried during the part with the little boys funeral, and i used all of my will power to keep from lighting up in the theater.
on the way home we saw several car accidents and i think someone died at the intersection by my house, it was all blocked off.

Alcohol doesn't love me as much as Aly.

last night.... was interesting, to say the least.
this morning i woke up face down on a sofa, in a home that was not mine, with a strange arm over me, in different clothing.
Jacob's home, sofa and arm. Rachel's shirt, apparently we traded last night.
my mom is pissed, i didn't come home till 8am, mind you this is after a long list of missed call from her on my cell phone,. on Rachel's phone and her talking to Korey for a while. upon leaving i found a note on my windshield from her.

we drank copious amounts of wine, and devoured much microwave popcorn which i later threw up all over myself in Jacob's bathroom....well not all over, despite its projectile nature it for the most part made it into the toilet.

went to work still buzzin this morning....again.bah. i need a beer.

arnt you gonna break my fall?

Since Monday evening i have been crying, solid.
work was hell yesterday and i have to go back in less than half an hour.
my horrible decision on Monday that did in fact turn out to be the worst decision of my life has yet to be resolved and is main reason for said crying.

my room is disgusting and i choke on clutter that threatens to envelope me. I want to sit at at home, i want to clean my room and i want to make myself a real meal in my kitchen. is this so much to ask? apparently because i cant remember the last time i did any of these things. i have too many fucking social obligations. there are constantly people contacting me via text message, calling, emailing and notes on various web sites. between work, staying up until 3 am consoling friends and driving all over the city i feel like i have seen Korey for 5 minuets in the past 3 months, less than anyone else i know...and that is really fucking things up for me. i feel like i haven't done a single thing for myself. on top of which i have a wedding to shoot on December first, lets hope i can help my customers this time. i suppose i have to learn how to tell people no, i just... dont know.

fuck this life.

what

OK, so maybe i changed my mind.


my life is spiraling slowly, but not too slowly, downward into the inevitable shit that it will become.

i am suffocating

my walls get tighter every time i re-enter the room, or maybe its just me getting fatter.

i made what i already feel will be the worst decision of my life today.

i also decided i am moving out out in a month or so, but not to flagstaff. yet.

this euphoria

this is aly's tattoo.
























This is Rachel at work
























This is my new piercing; it looks better now.

I came from this city, a victim of peace...

I appologize for the ugliness of this post in advance, i have yet to master the formatting on this blogscape and it troubles me still. Alas, i am far too lazy to capitalize my "i"s let alone put too much effort into this but a half hour before i trudge to the slave factory.


its been a few days, but alot has happend.
tegan and sara was an awesome experience...aly's birthday happend.
but i think i will go in order; there are alot of pictures, and its late so it probably wont all be said or shown tonight.
Lets start on Haloween.
Party at Nate and Jacob's Apartment: Korey didnt stay long, he got a ride home with marcella, niether of them dressed up and i was sober while they were there so i didnt catch any pictures of them.