Tuesday, October 21, 2008

blah blah blah



feeling like i know everyone else better than i know myself.

I used to think that i was the kind of person who really knew what they wanted out of life, knew where to be and when to get there.
I used to think i had ambition.

maybe i should take some time and figure out whats good for me....

what the fuck am i doing here?
ineedneedneedneedneeeeeedtogetoutofhere.

feel like im constantly offending, and when i try to not im constantly compromising my actions. wtf.


wishing i could feel the way i used to.

the filth in my living space is driving me mad...but whenever i try to clean i become overwhelmed with a feeling of being trapped, its like it never ends and its just going to swallow me whole. not to mention the fucking spiders. what the fuck is with all the fucking black widows in tucson deciding it would be a great fucking idea to come live on my fucking porch. fucking fuck off you stupid fucking arachnids, i dont fucking want you here. and i sure as hell dont wanna kill you, but you dont give me much of a choice....cause i dont really wanna get bit by you =[

feeling like i need to have a good sit down and get to know myself again...like catching up with an old friend or talking to a relative you grew up with but never see anymore... but with me...ugh..what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck.

3 comments:

Lonely Paul said...

What does the title of your blog mean?

Auto de fé said...

In medieval Spanish "Auto de fé" means "act of faith". It refers to ritual of public penance as punishment for heretics in the time of the Spanish Inquisition.
Despite my Blog's subtitle, as well as the popular belief, this ritual does not include execution or torture of any kind.
Since Auto de fé is basically just a public confession of the guilty, and catholics have to make a big deal out of everything, the ritual of Auto de fé includes, Mass, prayer, the parading around of those found guilty, their confessions and finally the guilty being read their sentence [usually death by being burned at the stake or hanging]. This is where "Auto da fé" comes in and that little a makes all the difference. "Auto da fé" is a term used in art usually and is the image of a heretic burning at the stake.

awesome.

Anonymous said...

oddly enough i've been feeling the same fucking way. . .

know that you're not alone
and
that i love you this much . . . well if i had to pick a number i'd say more than every fake blade of astroturf in the houston astrodome